I have experienced a couple of ‘bumps in the road’ along life’s journey which completely threw me off balance for a while. Powerful coaching turned my life around.
Life looked perfect
I wouldn’t admit to myself or anyone else that I was suffering from postnatal depression after the birth of my first baby. Why?….Pride? Shame? Fear?
I returned to work as a registrar in Obstetrics & Gynaecology and for a couple of years I pushed on, trying to be the consummate professional despite struggling with the work-life balance imposed by long hours, nights on-call, and fitting work around nursery hours. In addition to my long term habit of being a people pleaser and a perfectionist, I suffered with Imposter Syndrome – that feeling that you’re not really good enough. I also felt that as a new mum myself, I had become too emotionally involved and affected by some of the patients and conditions I was caring for. By now I had begun to criticise my own work and question my abilities, despite no such criticism from my colleagues or superiors I might add.
I was successfully working my way up to a consultant post, I had a supportive husband, a beautiful baby girl and a lovely home – on paper I had it all!
But by the time my second baby was on the way I felt I wasn’t doing a good enough job at home or at work and I was miserable. I couldn’t cope with the stress I was experiencing and took a career break. My lack of self belief gradually worsened and I never did return to medicine, which is something I now regret.
Why was I unhappy?
The second big bump in the road occurred much later when my first daughter left home to start university. This coincided with the peri-menopause which affected me dramatically. Not your regular night sweats or hot flushes for me. Instead anxiety, low mood, withdrawal from social life, feelings of impending doom, tearfulness… At first I couldn’t figure out what was wrong – I hadn’t expected her going to affect me like this. I had always looked at parenthood as supporting your children till they’re ready to fly and then giving them the freedom to leave the nest.
My fabulous friends rallied round and tried to cheer me out of my ‘depression’. But it was a coaching programme that really did the trick for me.
Coaching unlocked the answer
The coaching I received helped me to see that I had been spending far too much time in the ‘Mother’ energy and also in ‘Superwoman’ mode. Over the years I had forgotten about meeting my own needs, was always putting everyone else first and taking on too many things, never setting boundaries or saying “No”. It helped me to look at my values, my needs, my emotions and what triggers them. It completely reset my mindset.
I felt re-energised, emboldened, more determined and just happier! It drove me to want to use these powerful tools to help other women who may be feeling worn down by life’s challenges.
Undertaking the coaching training further embedded the principles for myself and I believe that this, along with the understanding and empathy I bring due to my own experience, as well as my medical background in women’s health, mean I am well qualified to support you in making the positive change you need.
What women say…
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